Quantum Connections

Teddy's Legacy

2009-08-31T11:51:00.004-04:00

Regardless of your political persuasions, the sentiment here is worth repeating:

"We cannot know for certain how long we have here. We cannot foresee the trials or misfortunes that will test us along the way. We cannot know what God's plan is for us.

What we can do is to live out our lives as best we can with purpose, and with love, and with joy. We can use each day to show those who are closest to us how much we care about them, and treat others with the kindness and respect that we wish for ourselves. We can learn from our mistakes and grow from our failures. And we can strive at all costs to make a better world, so that someday, if we are blessed with the chance to look back on our time here, we know that we spent it well; that we made a difference; that our fleeting presence had a lasting impact on the lives of others."

-President Barack Obama, during the eulogy of Senator Ted Kennedy, August 29, 2009

The Color of the Past

2009-08-24T08:00:00.009-04:00

"The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you can see." - Winston Churchill

Recently, I sang in church. I have a couple of buddies who play guitar and we did a lovely rendition of "Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing." We even got a "whoop!" of appreciation afterwards, a real feat for a sedate Moravian church.

As we waited for church to begin, my friends and I discussed possible names for our little acoustic, folksy group. I've been doing some genealogical research and mentioned I had a great picture of a couple of my ancestors, the Rev. Cole Brothers. The brothers were Methodist Episcopal circuit preachers up in the mountains of Virginia and North Carolina in the early 1800's. "Hmm," my friend said, "Do you have any interesting female ancestors?" My great-great-great grandmother's name was Temperance - Tempy for short. So, we're now "Sister Tempy and the Rev. Cole Brothers!"

I don't know much about "Sister Tempy," but I do know about my great-great grandmother, Carolyn Neumeyer. While working as a hatmaker, she was knocked over by Teddy Roosevelt's carriage in the streets of D.C. The President was mortified and offered her a ride home (she was unharmed). She refused, on the grounds that it was improper for a single woman such as herself to accept a ride from a gentleman not part of her family, even if he was the PRESIDENT of the United States!! Another ancestor served in the NC legislature, riding horseback from his home near Boone, NC all the way to Raleigh (probably an 8-day ride). Family legend has it that Lorenzo Dow Cole, my great-great grandfather, was spared certain death during the Civil War when the musket ball heading for his heart was stopped by the bedroll he carried on his chest. And of course, I can't resist throwing in my 7th great uncle, the pioneer Daniel Boone. Now that's an exciting life!

Ah, the color of our history. Our ancestors seem so much more interesting and brave than we are or think we could ever be. And yet, day after day, week after week, we persevere, even if it is just through the mundane aspects of our own suburban lives. Life is as dull as we make it.

Carolyn, Tempy, Daniel Boone, and the Cole brothers inspire me as I trudge through my own daily living. I may not be riding horseback through the rugged NC mountains or straightening my bustle after a brush with greatness, but I'm blazing my own trail. What will my descendants say about my life?

What will yours say about you?

Getting Things Done

2009-02-15T15:11:00.002-05:00

"Things rarely get stuck because of lack of time. They get stuck because the doing of them has not been defined." – David Allen, Getting Things Done

If you, like me, have issues with getting started, I highly recommend David Allen's classic book on productivity, Getting Things Done. In the book, David breaks down into a detailed system the art of productivity. Even if you are not a detail person, there is some nugget of wisdom in this book.

And if you intend to get and read the book, but know you never will, here is what I divined from the reading of it: if you do nothing else in your quest to get things done, simpy take the next step. Every project, from your next complex work assignment to getting the oil changed in your car, can be broken down into the next step. Don't want to worry about developing a timeline or production schedule? Skip that part and just do the next thing. Call Mary to schedule a meeting. Google local Jiffy Lubes. If that next step takes less than two minutes, do it now.

That's it. But I do recommend the book too - it's a real easy investment in self-improvement.

Ideation Investigation

2008-09-01T11:51:00.002-04:00

Ideation Investigation: A Strategic Brainstorming Activity

Here's a quick brainstorming and idea-generating session for your work group or team. Managers should come up with a topic or problem that needs to be addressed in some way. It can be directly work-related or not. Divide folks into groups of 6-8 people. Each group can have its own topic or a different topic to tackle. Then ask them to do the following:

Phase 1:
Group members generate ideas about their assigned topic. Be aware of three important issues:

ensure that everyone in the group has an equal opportunity to put ideas forward;
nobody in the group should criticize ideas put forward or attempt to evaluate them in any way; and
all the ideas put forward should be part of a record everyone can see.

(Use post-its and paper provided for individual brainstorming, then combine like ideas on flip chart. Individuals can present ideas in a round-robin fashion, one at a time.)

Phase 2:
Group members bring all their ideas together, and sift and sort until they can agree on 2-3 primary/similar ideas/themes. Analyze and rank these ideas according to priority, promise, or acceptability. Appoint a spokesperson who will present your ideas (in 3-5 minutes) at a later time.

This exercise provides a jumping-off point for finding new and unique solutions to old problems, or to simply encourage different perspectives. The critical piece for this exercise is the second bullet point in Phase 1 - do not stop to criticize or evaluate ideas. This often bogs down the creative process. There are no bad ideas in this particular exercise - due diligence can be practiced later on, assuming such ideas make it past this point.

Good luck and happy ideating!

2008-06-18T17:12:00.000-04:00

What is Success?

To laugh often and much,
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children,
to earn the appreciation of honest
critics and endure
the betrayal of false friends,
to appreciate beauty,
to find the best in others,
to leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch,
or a redeemed social condition,
to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

-Bessie Anderson Stanley

Tired of the Same Old Team Activities? Try a Treasure Hunt!

2008-05-05T16:34:00.000-04:00

A QE treasure hunt is much more challenging than a simple scavenger hunt . . . but still loads of fun! We've adapted and improved the scavenger hunt model for a higher purpose -- to solve the puzzles of teamwork. How do teams plan and strategize? How do they access the skills of their team members? How do they communicate effectively? During the treasure hunt, your group will solve these important business puzzles and more while getting out of the conference room, exploring your city and its hidden treasures, and accomplishing your business-focused team building goals.

Technology: A Two-Edged Sword

2008-04-21T18:58:00.000-04:00

I've had this post ready to go for awhile...but alas, have been CrazyBusy! And speaking of CrazyBusy...

In his book, CrazyBusy, Ned Hallowell makes a pretty convincing case for his thesis that more and more people are exhibiting signs of ADHD or ADD, not because they are, but due to the frantic pace of our modern lifestyle.

He makes a lot of practical suggestions for ways to overcome a severe case of "CrazyBusy-ness," but the one that resonates with me relates to control of technology. Technology, for all that it has transformed the workplace, is truly a two-edged sword. On the one hand, because of our constant state of connectedness through cell phones, PDAs, email, and the internet, we can stay in touch at all times. On the other hand, we stay in touch at all times! Anyone can find us anywhere, anytime. Yikes.

According to Hallowell, we must "control [our] technology -- cell phone, email, and the like -- don't let it control [us]. Develop a system that works for you -- when you take calls, how you prioritize emails, and so on."

Below I've listed some technology "friends." These web sites prove extremely useful in today's modern workplace -- they actually provide ways to harness the power of technology, save time, increase productivity, etc.:

Meeting Wizard
This handy web-based program helps coordinate everyone's busy schedules. For those who don't have access to Outlook's Exchange Server with its nifty calendar sharing features, Meeting Wizard is a great alternative. Accounts and basic features are free.

Survey Monkey
Survey Monkey provides an evaluation tool that can be used a number of ways. Use for simple internet surveys, client evaluations, and opinion polls. Best of all, it tabulates and presents the results effortlessly. Basic features are free.

Personality Page
Managers should consider using this as an inexpensive alternative to behavioral and personality style assessments. Just be sure to understand enough to be able to communicate about people's differences and commonalities in a non-threatening way. Also can be valuable for self-assessment purposes.

Alexa
Interesting alternative to Google, where you can also view traffic information on web sites. Want to know what the current most popular U.S. or global web sites are? Check it out on Alexa.com. Stay "in the know" regarding modern technology.

Amazon
Surely, you're already taking advantage of this one-stop shopping mecca. Hard to beat the prices, range of products, and shipping speed. Provides no excuse not to stay educated on the latest trends, knowledge and products. Also check out Gifts.com and do some personalized shopping for clients, employees or friends and family.

Reference.com
Dictionary, Thesaurus, and Encyclopedia all in one. Premium content $19.99 per year. Basic features free.

Constant Contact
An email program with a lot of flexibility. Use it to communicate with your clients, potential clients, employees, and other groups. Tremendous flexibility for a reasonable cost.

Member Clicks
Great for membership and other small organizations. Very comprehensive web-based solution. Provides services ranging from dues collection, web site, event registration, and email marketing. Fee-based.

Life Journal
A valuable tool for leaders, managers, and anyone interested in some ongoing self-assessment. Journaling is a wonderful way to clarify values, improve writing and thinking skills, and get some clarity on expectations and next steps.

Blue Mountain Greetings
You should never be too busy to acknowledge a colleague's special day -- be it birthday, anniversary, corporate milestone, whatever. This web-based greeting card site makes it easy by letting you select from a multitude of sentiments and decide how and when to send those greetings. It will even remind you of important upcoming occasions by calling you on your cell phone, if you like. Some features are free.

The wave of web-based applications can prove useful, if we take the time to evaluate their usefulness and actually take advantage of all they have to offer.

2008-03-15T11:09:00.002-04:00

Seven Commandments According to Ruth

Still working on that book -- some days I can't imagine it will ever be done. Whenever it is, assume that these "Commandments" will be part of it. Consider this a sneak preview!

Accept what is. This is your life – today, right now – what you want is not what is real – what is real is what is – right now! (Compassionate acceptance of self and others and the entire situation exactly as it is will lead you to freedom. – Cheryl Huber)
Pay attention. Another way to say “live in the present.” Be alert to your surroundings and the actions and feelings of others. Avoid dwelling on the past or forecasting the future.
Expect nothing. Be pleasantly surprised! This is not as depressing and cynical as it sounds. We are often let down when our “hopes and dreams” do not turn out the way we believe they should. Why continue to set ourselves up for disappointment when we can live free of expectations and be happy?
Take nothing personally. Why do we continue to believe that the actions or non-actions of others have something to do with us? This does not absolve us of responsibility; it just means the world isn’t out to get us.
Be kind to yourself. Humans are not perfect – this has been well-established throughout the annals of time! Yet we continue to hold ourselves to impossible or unrealistic standards and beat ourselves up over the slightest failing. We must be kind to ourselves.
Honor yourself and others. Two words but a whole book could be written on them. This requires responsible action. What kind of life do you need to lead to honor yourself? Change is incremental but always happening. This also includes issues related to balance and taking care of ourselves. An extension of honoring yourself is of course, honoring others. Think the greatest commandment.
Be who you are. What more can we say? Embrace who you are and enjoy what you have to offer your family, friends, the world.

Be aware, these are not just pithy statements you can re-visit every few weeks or months or years. Success (is there such a thing?) requires constant re-visiting, daily revisiting. I find whenever I am out of balance, depressed, or unproductive; inevitably, I am violating one of these commandments. The worst offenders? 3, 4, & 5.

On which commandments should you be working?

2008-01-01T08:28:00.000-05:00

Ten Commandments for a Long and Peaceful Life

-Dear Abby

Thou shalt not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities.
Thou shalt not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass.
Thou shalt face each problem as it comes. You can handle only one at a time.
Thou shalt not cross bridges before you get to them, for no one yet has succeeded in accomplishing this.
Thou shalt not take problems to bed with you, for they make very poor bedfellows.
Thou shalt not borrow other people's problems. They can take better care of them than you can.
Thou shalt be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own. IIt's very hard to learn something new when you're talking.
Thou shalt not try to re-live yesterday for good or ill -- it is gone. Concentrate on what is happening in your life today.
Thou shalt not become bogged down by frustration, for 50 percent of it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive actions.
Thou shalt count thy blessings, never overlooking the small ones -- for a lot of small blessings add up to a big one.

When Productivity Plummets

2007-09-06T15:44:00.001-04:00

I'm sure my thousands of fans have noticed the lack of blogging here lately. (Can you tell that was facetious?) I'd been on a mission to uncover the secrets to productivity -- how can one move from thinking about getting things done to actually getting things done? We all know what we need to be doing, now why aren't we doing it? I'd actually pulled together a framework and was working on an outline (quite proud of myself since I was actually getting something done!) when the unthinkable occurred.

My dad got sick. Not a head cold, mind you, and "sick" isn't really the right word. Basically, he's encountered a life-threatening condition that's left him all but quadraplegic -- he now has the use of only his right arm. To put it succinctly, his heart broke. His aorta, actually. Remember John Ritter? He died of the same thing my dad suffered back in June -- an aortic dissection. Practically unheard of, extremely rare, and incredibly deadly. We had several hellish days where death was imminent. Amazingly, my dad rallied. Someone keeping the bedside ritual with me commented that perhaps he was staying alive for his elderly mother, who is 94 and lives in assisted living. Another speculated that he didn't want to leave "his girls" -- meaning my mother, my sister and I -- or his five beautiful grandchildren. Nope -- I'm convinced that other than the tremendous power of prayer (we won't get into all that on this blog), my dad didn't die simply because he didn't WANT to. He wasn't ready.

We're 76 days in now. He's in a skilled nursing facility undergoing intensive rehab. We hope that he'll be able to go home eventually and have some level of mobility. We're thankful for every day we have with him. My mother's life has been turned upside down as she deals with the ramifications of this event -- from grief to loneliness, medical decisions and care concerns, security and financial issues, anger, frustration, bureaucracy, and a new "normal." I'm adjusting to adding the care of my father (and just as important, the emotional support of my mother) to my already full schedule as business owner, wife, mother, frustrated writer, community volunteer, knitter, avid reader, etc. etc, etc. Staying busy is rather my M.O., but this has jacked things up to an entirely new plane.

Because this article is about productivity and not my father's tragic illness, I'll get back to my main point. In the immediate days and weeks following my father's illness, my productivity was completely gone. I didn't work for an entire week and after that, only worked sporadically for several weeks. My poor family suffered as I struggled to deal with the mortality of my healthy, active father. Volunteer responsibilities went by the wayside. Things that had seemed vitally important only days prior suddenly dropped completely off the radar. Here are a few observations (in no particular order) regarding life in the wake of a life-changing crisis:

Email can be a good thing. Thank goodness I had a laptop. I kept in touch with concerned friends and family via email, providing important updates in those early hours and days. This was a life-saver in that we didn't have to use a lot of additional energy responding to phone calls in order to keep everyone updated. I was also able to forward important work-related emails to my employees, thus ensuring that my business continued to operate uninterrupted. It would have also been helpful had I had an alternate way for others to check my email, in case I was the one incapacitated or unable to get to my own in-box. A simple program like LogMeIn could come in very handy, allowing others to log in to your computer from another location.
Be sure to have things in order, so that stepping away from work and other responsibilities is not a complete catastrophe too. I had long since turned over vital, day-to-day responsibilities to key employees, a la The E-Myth so that time didn't stop just because I was out of the picture. The same goes for home -- a family notebook with key phone numbers, menus, school papers, and instructions regarding finances and schedules proved very helpful for folks trying to pick up the pieces behind me during those first few days.
Give yourself a break. You will not return to "normal" quickly, if at all. I stopped everything but the essentials for quite some time. The first week or so was only about the hospital, sleeping, and eating -- though the last two weren't even possible the first couple of days. Life will eventually return to some semblance of normalcy, but to expect you can quickly return to a regular routine is unrealistic. I finally returned to the gym after a two-month plus absence. It felt great to get back, but there's no way it was going to happen sooner. I also had to frequently remind myself that there would be time to continue work on my book and my strategic planning at a later date. A crisis such as this one does dramatically reorder your priorities and leaves you stripped to the bone. Being kind to yourself when you're under this kind of stress is imperative. There's no other option.
Have a good support system in place. I was fortunate in that I could rely on my wonderful husband and good friends to take care of the household and run kids to and from as needed. Others took over critical volunteer responsibilities. Still others provided much-needed emotional support. Church members mowed lawns and brought food. It is a cliché -- but cultivating deep friendships will stand you in good stead when the going gets tough. You must be a true friend if you ever expect to have true friends who will take care of you and yours when tragedy hits home.
Faith does matter. You certainly don't have to worship the same God I do, but this situation has taught me that sometimes things happen that are only explainable if you have faith of some kind. And likewise, faith in God or a higher power can provide a footing that enables you to survive and move on, one small step at a time, even when it seems impossible to bear one more heartache. I found myself saying prayers and liturgical responses from my childhood and singing hymns I thought were long forgotten -- sometimes for comfort and other times, to keep terrible thoughts at bay. There are people who will tell you that it is impossible to have a true understanding of what faith really means in your daily life until a really bad thing happens. They are right.
Grief is a process. Even if your loved one doesn't die, a health crisis of the magnitude our family has experienced changes life forever. There have been many losses. Everyone experiences grief and loss differently and isn't very pretty. Accept that you will react strongly and emotionally for months and years to come, for no apparent reason, to things that seem mundane. Understand that you will now view caregivers and those who've lost loved ones in a much different way. They become survivors in an army of walking wounded. You wonder how people manage to live and thrive -- yet they do, and so will you.
Don't make any big decisions. Because life is so stripped down in moments of trial, important life decisions that perhaps you've been putting off seem suddenly so clear. I urge you NOT to take action yet. Your moment of epiphany might become a true disaster a few months down the road. Wait, let life settle back into something regular again, and THEN re-evaluate those areas of life that need examination. Your new knowledge in the light of these events can provide helpful insight as you contemplate change, but shouldn't be the basis for that change. So slow down and think it through after the initial crisis has passed.
Live in the moment. Especially for those of us who are constantly looking for improvements and ways to streamline and plan life so that we can get through each day more productively, these kind of crises can really be devastating. "One day at a time" is a mantra for AA, but it is mighty universal. When you experience the complete lack of control that goes along with the critical illness and near-death of a loved one, the initial response is to work very hard to regain control wherever you can find it. Alas, that is impossible. We must constantly return, again and again, to the moment, for it is all that we truly know. We cannot predict how our loved one will feel tomorrow or in two weeks or two years. We cannot make them better or worse. This is a lesson though, that cannot be learned just once. Every new day the fears emerge. Will he ever walk again? Will he die today? Will my life ever be the same again? We don't know the answers and we're not going to know them. We have only today. And worrying, while natural when a loved one is at risk, is equally unproductive. Best to let it all go. To quote Mickey Rivers, former second baseman of the New York Yankees, "Ain't no use worryin' 'bout things you got control over, 'cause if you got control over them, ain't no use worryin'. And ain't no use worryin' 'bout things you ain't got control over, 'cause if you ain't got control over them, ain't no use worryin'."

I am gingerly setting some goals, working on getting things done. Soon, I'll get back to my book. But, in the meantime, "ain't no use worryin'."

The Wisdom of Bubba

2007-06-02T08:33:00.000-04:00

As my husband's partner breezed out of their office last week, he waved and tossed the following jewel over his shoulder in his Mississippi accent: "Chris, I'm glad you got to see me."

Of course, it loses something in the translation to type, but my hubby nearly fell out of his chair laughing. What a refreshing twist on our usual perfunctory (and often disingenuous) greetings.

The larger point (you knew I'd have one), of course, is this: What else is out there in front of us every day that we are failing to appreciate?

Folks, I'm glad you got to read my blog.

The Big Questions

2007-05-30T09:30:00.000-04:00

Do you want to live a more authentic life?
Do you desire to understand yourself. . . really know yourself?
Do you need to develop an understanding of the motivations of others? How to read them? What makes them tick?
Do you want to know how to capitalize on your strengths . . . every day?
Do you need to manage your time in such a way that you can "be there" for your family, your friends, your co-workers, your community?
Do you strive for balance?

Well, good luck. Odds are you can't do all that.

Why do you think I haven't blogged anything for the past three months? Don't you think I'm doing the best I can? I continue to try to "do it all," "have it all," be a "superwoman."

Know what? I quit.

As long as I continue to have unrealistic expectations about myself, my world will continue to spin wildly, just slightly beyond my control. Sometimes you just need to stop, breathe and reassess.

Let me know when you're ready to begin again.

"But I Don't Want To!"

2007-02-16T09:41:00.000-05:00

I'm ticked. After working with a client for months in good faith, they've ditched us and are proceeding ahead using our creative ideas and resources. Are they going to pay us for our services? Of course not. We didn't have a contract with them, relying instead on existing goodwill. Our attorney advises that it's not worth pursuing from a collection standpoint even though we could certainly substantiate that a significant working relationship existed. Instead, he advises we write them a letter, apologizing for their dissatisfaction and asking that they send whatever meager payment they deem suitable. I cannot over-emphasize how undesirable this option is to me, realistic though it may be.

Meanwhile, a friend tells me her children won't be participating on a summer sports team this year, because they (the children) "don't want to." Hmmph, I grouse to myself, my son doesn't want to do a lot of things -- he doesn't want to do his homework or sing in the children's choir at church. But that's too bad. As his mom, I get to decide what he does and doesn't do. "I'm sorry you don't want to," I tell him, "but that's life. Once you grow up, you can certainly decide about what it is that you want to do, but keep in mind you'll have to do lots of things you don't want to do as well. Welcome to the real world." I know that down the road, he'll do his homework without being coerced and participate in certain activities because he wants to help the larger group. But for now, "I don't want to" isn't good enough. It's my job as his parent to help him understand the importance of those things he doesn't want to do.

Which brings me back to my grown-up life. I don't want to write that letter, and I suppose, I don't have to. It's unlikely that any payment will be forthcoming either way. But it's really about accountability and follow-through here. We did make assumptions that shouldn't have been made. And in this instance, perhaps operating solely in good faith was, in fact, a poor business decision. I do myself and my organization a disservice if I choose not to follow up because "I don't want to." Perhaps the exercise will serve as reminder of the specific lesson we've learned -- trust in God, but tie your camel.

What aren't you doing that you "don't want to" do? What are you doing? Welcome to the real world.

Holiday Stress Tips

2006-12-19T14:21:00.000-05:00

Life is too short to spend it stressing about what should be a joyous time of year with family and friends.

Enjoy this interactive page of holiday stress tips and remember to BE MERRY!!

Here's wishing you a wonderful holiday season and a happy new year!

Innovation & Leadership

2006-12-12T10:13:00.000-05:00

The Center for Creative Leadership recently published the results of a reader poll, questioning them about innovation in their organizations. While the vast majority believed that innovation was critical to their success as a leader and to the organization's success, only 27% of respondents "agreed" or "strongly agreed" that senior managers understand the essential principles for sustaining innovation. (Read more about the Innovative Leader and the poll results in the October 2006 edition of the CCL newsletter.)

Why the gap between the perceived importance of innovation and the ability of people to understand (and thus sustain) it?

What It's All About

2006-12-04T14:41:00.000-05:00

As I went round and round on the name for our corporate training division, one theme kept coming up from all the research I'd been doing...the theme of connection. Over and over again, I find this is want human beings really want to do... and must do, to build sucessful teams and to live their best life. So, Quantum Connections it is.

In fact, when it comes to life -- working with groups, building and leading teams, and just plain getting along with other people, it seems that 5 C's apply.

Here they are, in a nutshell & in no particular order:

Communication
This one is huge, people. Whether it's a corporate or community group, church or volunteer organization, or just the four folks in my immediate family, communication (or more accurately, lack thereof) is the main thing.

Change
How we respond to and roll with change is critical to our success in life, whether at home or work. Change is surely constant. We can go with it or resist it, but it's coming, regardless. Being able to anticipate, adapt and even encourage change is critical, especially given the pace of life today.

Connection
Fundamental. Author and trainer extraordinaire Jim Cain recently reiterated the importance of connection for employees in the workplace in an article entitled What's Next, appearing on his web site Teamwork & Teamplay. He maintains there are three things necesary for highly effective teams:

1. A clearly identified, articulated and worthy task.
2. The opportunity for growth, advancement and building new skills.
3. The opportunity to create connection and maintain relationships with other members of the group.

In fact, if connection can improve performance, the lack of connection can prove positively harmful. Along with doctoral students Paul Harvey and Jason Stoner, Florida State University management professor Wayne Hochwarter surveyed more than 700 people about their opinions of supervisor treatment on the job. The survey generated the following results:

• Thirty-one percent of respondents reported that their supervisor gave them the "silent treatment" in the past year.
• Thirty-seven percent reported that their supervisor failed to give credit when due.
• Thirty-nine percent noted that their supervisor failed to keep promises.
• Twenty-seven percent noted that their supervisor made negative comments about them to other employees or managers.

Even worse, according to the researchers, "Employees stuck in an abusive relationship experienced more exhaustion, job tension, nervousness, depressed mood and mistrust."

Connection is not just the right thing, it's critical to personal and professional happiness and success.

Compassion
This goes along with the whole idea of Servant Leadership (ever read any Robert Greenleaf?)-- we've got to reach out to others.

Courage
Kind of a biggie! We can talk about all this stuff 'til the cows come home but that doesn't make it happen. Execution of great ideas/profound thoughts requires movement from Point A to Point B, which may require certain skills, but without courage, we've got nothing anyway.

Not a bad list for a fledging leader to keep in mind. What C's would you add?

Team Building is for Wimps!

2006-10-11T22:08:00.000-04:00

Why do we whine about team building?
Is it because it takes us away from the busywork that makes up our daily lives?
Why are we unwilling to build deeper relationships with those people with whom we spend a great deal of our time?
Is team building only for those who have nothing better to do or whose work ethic doesn't reflect our own?
Or are we afraid of what we might discover . . . about our organization, or worse, about ourselves?

It sounds so good, but even when companies attempt "team building," many find it is "a waste of time" or "a bunch of touchy-feely mumbo-jumbo." And certainly, there are indications that team building can be quite ineffective. Though the words "team building" are incredibly descriptive (building a team is what you're supposed to do) and the idea itself never bad, the concept of "team building" has somehow become associated with overly emotional, irrelevant activities that are supposed to make a group feel more connected, but rarely do.

Even business gurus like Patrick Lencioni bad-mouth team building, although he actually espouses nearly all of the positive and rewarding aspects of the very concept. Read The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team: A Field Guide for Leaders, Managers, and Facilitators and tell me that he's not a proponent of team building.

Let's be clear: effective team building is much more than a rousing scavenger hunt followed by a picnic. (Not that there's anything wrong with that -- smart business leaders understand the value of just plain fun, especially when it's part of an overall program designed to jump-start personal and organizational achievement and improve employee morale and loyalty.) But to truly be effective, team building must be:

Intentional: Time should be spent up front surveying participants and leaders about what they perceive as the issues to be addressed. Goals need to be developed for each session -- and thoroughly discussed at the end of each activity or session. We can't assume that people will just "get it" without working through it. But it must be intentional.
Experiential: Confucius says: "What I hear, I forget. What I see, I remember. What I do, I understand." Uh, well, it's true. Most people have to experience it to get it. Being told is not enough. An honest acknowledgement of different learning styles is key and experience-based learning is a great way to get at all those differing styles. We've got to SHOW them and have them do it -- so they get it.
Progressive: It's a process, people! Undervalued, underpaid, and underengaged employees should not hop right from an icebreaker to the highest point of a a ropes course! The process of building a team takes time and deliberation and moving from one level to the next requires a sensitivity to where the group members are at any given point in the process. It's the rare team that can move from getting to know one another to the highest level of commitment and trust overnight.
Continuous: "Continuous" used in this context is different from "progressive" in that I mean follow-through occurs -- in the form of post-event evaluations, continued discussion of relevant topics, and work on goals -- after actual activities are over. A belief that it's all over when the last helmet hits the ground is a short-sighted view of the power of real team building.
Validated: By leadership, that is. If those people at the highest levels of the department, division, or organization are not committed to and invested in the team building process, nothing will really change at any level. Just like children can intuit a parent's stress or insincerity, most employees are wise enough to know whether their fearless leader actually "walks the walk" or just "talks the talk."

Never underestimate the power of connection. It's what we all want in life . . . at home, at work and in our communities and circles of influence. Team building can be strategic and purposeful and touchy-feely and fun, and still achieve results. As the next generation of workers enter the workplace in the coming years, the ability to create community, unity, and teamwork will be even more critical to organization success.

As Spencer Johnson asks in Who Moved My Cheese? -- "What would you do if you weren't afraid?" Perhaps the real wimps are the ones unwilling to explore the value of an effective, results-oriented team building initiative.